This Ain't Nothin'

Sorry you missed it but yesterday I was having a pity party for myself. In fact I think that I have been having one all week long. It seems like nothing has been going right and I just can't put my finger on why I am being so pessimistic. On Monday Trent's car was broken into and ran-sacked. They stole his stereo that I bought him for Christmas last year. Gracie, our dog, has been sick with diarrhea.. Yup that means I get to clean it up! Brock had his tonsils and adenoids out and so he has needed extra mommy care. Jaida, my sweet angel baby that has slept through the night since being home from the hospital decided that she was not going to sleep at all for 2 nights. She was awake from midnight to 4 AM! Yay! Mikelle with no sleep is NOT GOOD! I think that yesterday was the kicker though. I went to Jaida's Pulmonary Dr. appt. and they had bad news! We had a sleep study on the night of my birthday and they had gotten the results and turns out that she actually did worse than her last study. Her oxygen levels actually dipped into the low 70's not good! They are referring me to a neurologist that specializes in genetics and hypotonia (low tone). We are adding a new machine at our home we will now have a pulse oximetry machine that will alarm anytime her levels dip below the 90's! What is another machine right? She had 5 apnea events per hour and mainly central apneas. They thought by now she would have out grown her central apneas, since they thought it was more related to prematurity. We don't know where things will go from here. We just hope that she continues to grow and develop and that we can someday get some answers.

Last night I was trying to be positive and think about all the good in my life to try and get refocused and energized. It is hard to have to be strong all the time. If I have melt downs then it effects everyone. I am only human and so I guess it is normal to have days of feeling less and discouraged. I am glad that I can rebound pretty fast! I started thinking about how grateful I am to be who I am with what I do have. I do have a lot of good things going for me and when I start to count my blessings it helps me to feel better. I know that there are so many people out there who have much harder trials and deal with them with such honor and strength. I began thinking about Our Friends Travis and Kim Bass. These two people are some of the most amazing people I know. Travis has been suffering with ALS for some time now and as Kim blogs about her updates she always find a way to thank God for what she has. She is truly a great example to me on how to face trials.

I was thinking that today I need to try and be better and I think that this will be my New Years Resolution. Show gratitude for what I have and endure better through my times of trial. It is a big feat, but I need to do it! As I was taking Pierce to school this morning this song by Craig Morgan came on the radio called This Ain't Nothin':

He was standing in the rubble of an old farmhouse out side Birmingham

When some on the scene reporter stuck a camera in the face of that old man

He said "tell the folks please mister, what are you gonna do now that this twister has taken all that's dear to you?"

The old man just smiled and said"boy let me tell you something, This ain't nothin'"

He said I lost my daddy, when I was 8 years old,

That cave-in at the Kincaid mine left a big old hole,

And I lost my baby brother, my best friend and my left hand

In a no win situation in a place called Vietnam

And last year I watched my loving wife, of fifty years wast away and die

And I held her hand til her heart of gold stopped pumping

So this ain't nothin'

He said I learned at an early age,

There's things that matter and there's things that don't

so if you're waiting here for me to cry

I hate to disappoint you boy, but I won't

Then he reached down in the rubble and picked up a photograph

Wiped the dirt off of it with the hand that he still had

He put it too his lips and said man she was something

But this ain't nothin'

He said i lost my daddy, when I was 8 years old

That cave-in at the Kincaid mine left a big old hole,

and I lost my baby brother, my best friend and my left hand

In a no win situation in a place called Vietnam

And last year I watched my loving wife, of fifty years waste away and die

We were holding hands when her heart of gold stopped pumping

So this ain't nothin'

This ain't nothin' time won't erase

and this ain't nothin' money can't replace

He said you sit and watch your loving wife of fifty years fighting for her life

Then you hold her hand til her heart of gold stops pumping

Yeah boy that's something

so this ain't nothin'

NO THIS AIN'T NOTHIN'

Totally made me think and realized that really the trials I have Ain't nothin' life could be way worse! So I am going to give it a try and be better! Think Happy thoughts!